Saturday, February 20, 2010

the cha-moirs-6

The unit was transferred in it’s entirety to the domicile of the pack, the snake eater in his component, his posse close to hand. The visitations did in deed cease, much to the chagrin of tech personnel in the cartel. Unable to continue their experiments with chemical and harnass, they drifted offward to other bunkers, there to hone their interrogative skills farther and wider afield.

Life resembled some sort of normalcy, at least the neighbors noticed nothing askew. Another module was accumulated, and settlement was reached. But it just had to be too good….one can never accept too good. A battle was brewing tween this stalker and the snake eater. A struggle for powers budding and thought lax. The posse and it’s division were rarely round, and those in the pod were themselves and giddy. So when he did breeze through, it was likened to a violent storm with vivid sparks being seen flashed off the horizon. He felt the flyer should have the ground cut from beneath, cast adrift with humanity, powerless.

A comment, an observation really, was made in innocence.

~Where did so-and-so go? I saw them last week, but I’ve since been told they are no longer here….where did they go?

Well, this was just the opportuinity the snake eater was waiting to pounce with, to ravage and eviscerate the super hero.

~They have died

~What is died?

~They are dead

~What is this dead, explain?

~They cease to exist

~What do you mean, they cease?

~Their bodies fall, rot, to be eaten….there is nothing left to mark their place

~Why did this befall them? What did they do to deserve?

~It happens to everyone

..........No......….it does not….......not I




~Even YOU

The scream was heard throughout the compound, high and long….oh so long. The medics were called, those luscious drugs administered once again, the body lashed and numb….but the soul did not stop it’s wail. It echoed and battered into and surround the internal walls of every living organism….I can not fulfill my destiny….there is not enough time….i have failed you all.

The goddess in training imploded that day, never to recover, never to fully inhabit her realm again. For what is the point? There is just not enough time……

the cha-moirs, 5

So at the tender age of 7, my pod was moved to michigan. by this time it had been expanded to 4 modules, a little whelp joining us during the fall of the sightings. The environment was similar to germany, with groves of olden wood, the desired mold and leaf litter, trails that led off to private nooks, but with an added bonus……we moved within running of a lake. and oh, what a body of water… could barely see to the other side. and it was deep…..and cold…..and haunted.

and so it began….the nightly visits by insectoidal creatures half the size of a small car, communal and red, with pointed claws that grubbed and tore. hauling this soul off, pushing it out to wander the void alone so that the shell could be occupied by others….others who spoke in long dead languages, rants and accusations ringing out, the pacing and draggage of flesh, patterns worn into carpet in ever increasing coils, causing havoc and terror in the small, crowded abode. then came the restraints, the medication….the futility.

Even the whelp began to wander, and each morning a hunt was launched down that long desolate stretch of beach punctuated by tossed debris, as if there had been a battle with the night. It would be found paused and dazed in a lea of a half-submerged trunk, unclothed, mute and forever blank in the watery dawn's light. the snake eater admitted defeat in this battle with the elementals and the decision was made to move.

the cha-moirs, 4

Then one day, the pseudo mother bundled me up and stuffed me into the air-tight rolling can. It was early in the day, very early. I did not like going away from my surroundings before the sun And then to be taken to a square, boring building, so noisy, so full of….what were these things? They looked like me. But they came in all different colors and sizes. And what?! What were these?! What were these….interesting….they.…hmmm. Anyways, we were all herded into these rooms, arms and legs smacked and jumbling. Forced to sit still in these pre-formed chairs, with arms and tables, so easily trapped, bound by coats and bag. Oh…oh. The day grew older, my spirit crying out to be spared.

Then suddenly….freedom! They took us out-of-doors. And there! My woods! A mad dash between out-stretched arms and shouts to stop……then the welcome cool foliage. I dove deep till I no longer heard them, those alien beings who made my senses ache. I scouted, and yes! These were my woods, the familiar paths, though far afield from my usual ramblings. And I recognized landmarks, that twisted knot there, the little brown pile of organic matter under branches bent. Yes yes, this was my home. I wallowed in my comfort, tossing leaf and mold high, giggling with relief. Ahhhhh

So now was time to study…. I crept to the edge of the woods, my position camouflaged, my intent indiscernible. I needed to study these entities. These creatures so like myself, yet….the feelings I got were similar to those I felt when tracking the pairs. Funny feelings, in my hair and toes.

These creatures must be dissected. Exactly what and who were they? Why did they make me feel this way? I will sit here, quietly under the compost, like one of my precious wolf spiders. Alert....trap lain....patient. Till finally, one gets too close to my pre-arranged stones and twigs….and YES! Success! It is down, tumbled, shocked and crying, afraid of my unknown. YES! Hahaha

It squirms, I feel…..oh....this is delicious. What are you little toy? Should I bite or lick? Tear your limbs, or just your coverings asunder? Oh oh, this may be worthwhile after all, this bundling-off to a building full of delights before the daybreak. Yes yes….

That fall, there was a haunting in the woods. The adults quaked, the mini-mes mewed. The men in black boots rummaged the parameters. But never was the phantom discovered. It struck without warning, dragging children....well….the wee men-folk....into the dark, wickt wood. Unspeakable things were performed under those tall trunk-ed branches. Unspeakable and unnamed. Never was the attacker deciphered, its face a merge of browns and lichen. But, what was done under those piles of autumn refuse….would dwell with those lads to this very day.

the cha-moirs, 3

yes, the rattlesnake eater was a harsh man…..he did not deserve family. that one is entitled to his own story…..but like I said, scars
he caused me many years of counseling, not because of what he had done to me and mine, though that in itself would be sufficient. no, it was because I saw in myself from an early age, his likeness. how can yu hate yourself as much as yu hate another, through no fault of yur own? aww well, all better now!
So where were we…..ahh yes, germany

this place, oh this place was filled to the brim with backwater portals. yu could slip into and out of 'normal' existence, confounding the minders in charge of yur person. an adjustment in the view, and voila! across the block in a blink. we lived in an older part of a village, still looked as it did pre-WWII if yu can believe. I used to roam….im surprised I was not kidnapped, stolen or worse, all the places I explored that I shouldn't have. but my knack for opening those 'doors' came in handy many a time.

and the woods called me……old growth forest. oh the smells. I used to bury myself in the leaf litter at the base of trees, my eyes the only indication that anything existed in that space. watching the inhabitants. animals used to walk right over me and never knew I was there.

and something else strange was witnessed. I used to see humans in those woods, and I would stalk them with glee. they sometimes walked aimless, sometimes with purpose down ruts in the leaf mold. sometimes in pairs….those were the ones to watch, creeping under bush and vine. deeper into the unknown....they always drew me deeper……sighs……grunts……gasps. sometimes I was able to grasp a little hint of movement, but they were blendt into the flora as well as I was, so the sounds had to suffice. quite a discovery for a 5 year old……but then, i already had scars from the rattlesnake eater

the memories….i must wallow, scuse


the cha-moirs, 2

oh good, thought I had scared yu off….
im used to it, my parents having been hounding me since I can remember to hide the usage of my super powers from the neighbors. As to my planet of origin? Why, its that egg-laying eye-beam shooting planet over in the western quadrant of the sky, the one that blinks out, red and blue?

Anyways, as I was recollecting… parents never appreciated my powers, nor did they believe in the existence of my nanny. I would escape from the tucking each night and run screaming across the hall (for I slept in the kitchen on a blanket on the floor yu see) and hide under their bed, babbling about IT being immune to my powers. My dad, being one of those covert thingies who jet all over the world and hide in the bush eating rattlesnake, brought in his posse to scan the premises for wormholes, but alas, none were ever found. From whence did the bulb-head come? Was it a long-lost relative? My real momma?! If so, thank god for the physicality of this place, that thing was UGLY!

So yes, we are now in another country in the telling of this story. My dad, the rattlesnake eater and I were forever locking eye-beams. The conflicts escalated into all-out warfare many a time. He had this saying…..this is my house, my rules, if yu don't like them, leave. Well, since the age of 5 ive been trying to!! I would take off walking, be gone for hours. they would have to send the militia out for me. And when I was captured, as I envariably was everytime (since the facility was encased by barbed wire damn it….too young to carry bolt cutters) i would be brought before the rattlesnake eater for punishment. He would tell me, in front of his posse, that I should have taken my things, cause once I leave it has to be for good. Yet when we'd make it home, the pseudo-mother would shush him, bundle me off and all would be quiet till the next battle.

more when ive quenched my thirst……


the cha-moirs, 1

My story uh? Well, let me start with my first recollection…..i was in a room full of giants with loud, raucous voices. I was swaddled very tightly in some type of material, so I couldn't harm anyone, and was being passed around.

Next memory, turds in the tub!

Ok, fast forward 1 year…..i was sitting on the curb and this little fox-headed girl came walking by, asked me if I wanted to learn about universal law. Well of course I said yes, and we promptly walked away from the house. She told me oh so many things, some I already knew, some she couldn't stress enough as being important in the scheme of things. My family wasn't too concerned, they allotted time each evening to hunt me down in the neighborhood….

Next scene, age 5. we were in germany.
Now, some people claim that they are nothing like their families and were probably adopted. Or left by fairies – a changeling. I on the otherhand was transported to this planet in an egg, to be hatched and placed in my mother's hospital bed on the day of that other girl's birth. I know not where or what became of her…. I am not human, nor fairyfolk…..i am a super hero! I am serious! I spent my nights flying round the universe slaying bad monsters with the beams that radiated from my eyes! And each evening, my nanny, a bulbous-headed hideous creature with stalks for fingers would come tuck me in, as tightly as possible, so as not to harm the natives….
All this recollecting is wearing me out……sorry
Will talk soon

the stratum haunt

Current mood:can anyone spare some bread crumbs?
So I was standing still at 67 miles per hour again the other day, and I came across a tableau that was astonishing in its aftermath, though the moment seemed but a transit stroke. The second the scenes unfolded, each in their sequential pomp, the awe factor ratcheted up notch over notch till I was flabbergasted and wanting so to return to the act of the "crime".

Layer one….Red lights flashing in the distance, not unusual for a busy weekend by-way. Came up on brand new dooley pulled off to the side of the road, big and red with tinted and viewless windows and driver. A muddy brown sedan with hidden lights flashing in the back seat behind. Once you were up on the duo the lights faded in and out with strobic intensity….they are there….they are elsewhere….

Layer two….A man, in civilian clothes, walking from the sedan. Nice clothes, middle age, out of shape. But the odd factor was that if a vehicle is being pulled over by any law enforcement, the officer would be cautiously approaching the offending vehicle, weapon drawn and at the ready. Yet this man was sauntering through the roadside grasses like he was on his way to Sunday church services.

Now if this wasn't enough……on the other side of the road, almost directly opposite of this "crime"….

Layer three….at first glance I thought it was an elemental, a groundling deva type pacing the setting sun, waiting for its proper time. This "man", nut brown, with dirt so ingrained and skin so oakish as to appear black, yet with those piercing light eyes….
His clothing was an odd mish-match of extremely well-worn denim and torn-up, not-oft washed plaids. His boots were at least a half inch thick cowhide, gnarled and twisted to exactly fit his pristine feet. His hat, a twisted heap of fiber, molded by sweat and sun, to only vaguely resemble a sun bonnet. Thick of chest, a man who worked and fed every muscle, not just paid homage in a mirror. But the clincher, the item that made me realize I was not witnessing a modern day man walking along the road as if on an errand, were his chaps.

They were not the common full-leg, up-to-the waist kind. No, these went only up as far as the knee – thick unbending leather bells. Snake charmer chaps we call them here. Now, we have our share of local rodeo groups, but this was no sideshow-rodeo-cowboy-clown. This was a throwback to those days gone by of the cross-world cattle drives. And where would this creature, if "cowboy" he truly was, be coming from? We were on the side of the road, no ranches or developments or homes anywhere for at least a mile either way……

He was directly across from the officer and his offender. He looked at the scene as if to say "yea, I see it, I seen it before, it's just a late evening heat mirage. It will disappear as always when the sun sets down. But in the meantime I'm gonna take notes".

Highway 130 is cutting across old highways and back roads that were once trails between ranches and markets, auction and slaughter houses, and railroads and big cities up north and east. I think things other than the dust are being disturbed. And I truly think this is why my perspective is being so distorted….one of these days I won't just be driving by one of those portals, I'm going to drive 'through'……

The Blue Man

Woke up from the “dream” about 11:00 pm – had only been asleep about 2 hours.

And so it began… It was nighttime and two men were walking towards a large gated compound. They were arguing – the smaller man did not trust the people they were going to meet. The older gentleman was carrying a satchel, slung over his shoulder, with a large amount of money. They were afraid of being double-crossed and killed. I came up from behind and went through the gate with them. The guards were very lax and waved us all through. The men were expecting a bullet through the back at any moment. It was easy to pick up on that anxiety. But no one came to meet them, nor did anyone speak with them. We wandered around the courtyard. It had a tropical feel. Mexico, South America, an oasis in the Middle East? In the center of the courtyard was a stone outbuilding with a locked door and bars on the one window. The men walked towards this small hut with me trailing. They couldn’t believe they had found him so soon.

We came to the window and inside sat the figure of a man covered in a gossamer veil. You could barely see his features through the gauze. The small man walked up to the bars and said, “You are not Him, you can’t be. He wouldn’t let himself be in a situation like this.” The man in the cell called the small man by name, and began to tell him things about his life and his innermost thoughts. I was standing directly behind the small man, who by this time had his forehead resting on the bars in submission and surrender. The veiled man’s eyes lifted to mine and he began to laugh maniacally, as if his circumstances had finally allowed him to breach that fine point of sanity.

A buzzing began that became louder and louder and very irritating. As the sound approached we could also hear a loud booming voice of a man. He was talking about himself as if he were the savior of the world. The two men with me began to panic. They implored the man in the cell to escape – he had the power. But the man in the cell lifted up his right arm, which was a bloody stump with protruding bones, and said he was powerless, laughing even harder, finally losing touch with this world.

I began to panic now. This loud man approaching us must not see or sense me. I ran to the back of the small building and ducked through a doorway into a room of the main house. As I inched towards the doorway, a blue glow began to fill the courtyard. The buzzing became even louder. Looking around the room one could see it was filled with bodies of couples having frenzied sex. Out the doorway I saw the man’s entourage walking towards the cell. The people with him were all in a trance, either walking in his wake or falling to the wayside. He was calling out to the man imprisoned, taunting him to “Save” everyone. He went into great detail about what he was going to do with him. I caught a quick glimpse of the “blue-glow” man – average height, shoulder-length brown hair, wearing what looked like knee-length satin pants and white stockings.

There was an urgent need to get out of there before he saw me or even felt my presence. I raced towards the back of the house, looking for a door or window to escape through. What I found was a man in a bathtub who seemed to be embracing the air, but I pulled back before he noticed me. As I turned to race to another room, I bumped into several small bodies – children! They were in a panic, and recognizing me as the only cognitive individual on the premises, looked to me for rescue.

There was a commotion in the courtyard – the caged man was being removed from his cell, and the two men I came with were screaming. There was no escape from the enclave. So seeing a jug of water on a chest of drawers, I grabbed it to absorb any stray energies and ushered the children into the back of a closet. I felt whatever was happening was the culmination of something ongoing and that soon the premises would be emptied as this “blue-glow” man and his people went forth to wreak the havoc they had planned.

At this point I woke up, heart pounding, in abject terror. I lay in bed for about 10 minutes, listening for the buzz. When I felt safe enough I got out of bed. But for some reason I felt the need for complete silence. I tiptoed to the kitchen to light some incense and crawled back into bed – never making a sound. Then I began to analyze this vision.

I felt that I knew this story. Had I read a book recently or seen it on TV? Maybe I had been astral traveling, because no one in the “dream” noticed me. Except for the man in the cage. Would the “blue-glow” man have been able to sense me, too? Were both other-worldly travelers? And what about the children…could they see me because of their innocence?

My first impression was that the man in the cell was Jesus and that the “blue-glow” man was Satan. But the more I reviewed, the more I felt that perhaps the man in the cell may be some type of a present-day prophet, but that the “blue-glow” man was alien in nature. Perhaps the man in the cell and the frenzied bystanders were being poisoned by radiation from the blue light. But I did not, under any circumstances, want the “blue-glow” man to know of my presence on this plane.

I was going to say prayers of protection, but realized that there would be no point – the Jesus of the Christian religion obviously could not help me. And what could prayers do to save me from an alien? Then I thought to put a bubble of white light around me and mine, but did not want to shine and call attention to my presence. So I pulled the veil of the night around us all to hide.

I thought about this vision for days. The more I reflected, the more I felt this event most likely took place in another time – perhaps within the last 100 years? And if so, what were the consequences of the “blue-glow” man’s campaign? Do we feel them even to this day? Is this the reason the world is in its current demise?

Another concern that came to mind in the days following this “dream” was what was I to do for protection? It really hit home that our Christian and pagan beliefs would not do for evil of a real and alien nature. I asked for guidance and the thought came to me that I needed to adopt protection of a sort that complied with the laws of physics. This protection would take a different tact for each person. I tested this theory with friends. I instructed them to ask for guidance. What physical law and its properties would better suit?

My answer came to me in the form of sound – a specific series of notes. I’ve always used this method but did not realize its ramifications. One friend was told to visualize a “wall” of glass blocks. Yet another was told to use the cellular glue between cells – this energy is readily available from other humans, animals, plants and other forms of life. We each of us practiced what we learned and life settled itself.

But even though many years have passed, when my mind wanders to thought, I hear that buzz and wonder if what I thought was a dream has come back to haunt…

Woesome tales of doggydom 4

Now we come to the end of this pack. Continuing my penchant for wandering bits of fur….i spied an orange ball with feet one day. He was in the yard, he was on the road, in the…out…in…how the hell?! And the strangest markings I've ever seen. He's orange, with orange eyes (yikes!) and blonde (yes blonde, yellow wheat colored hairs) eyebrows, ear interiors, and mutton chops. Hence the teutonic name….Ott (I was gonna call him Sigmund but restrained myself hehe). He's got soft short but flowing hair on his body, but wirey face hair (mutton chops I'm saying). A long full body and shortish legs, not exactly dwarven, but you would never mistake him for a greyhound ha! Even the vet is scratching her head. For this one I'd pay to have that doggie DNA test done, just to see what breed made up this Frankenstein pooch.

He wandered about the neighborhood, back and forth across the street and yards for a few months, me attaching chicken wire to the fence day after day in hopes of keeping him in….or OUT I didn't care damnit! But Mr. Hairy Houdini would not be thwarted. I live near a busy ranch road, speed limit 100 knots (or so they would have you believe), so I was fearful of squoooshed poopie every day. But he would not be deterred, no siree!

So after much soul searching (and feeding of cookies) I decided to get him fixed. If nothing else he might gain weight and not be able to squeeze through the 4 inch X 8 inch fence spacing. This dog weighs 68 pounds and is just as big in the body as the other dogs, though his legs are a bit challenged. But he can squeeze….omg i'm just in awe nothing has been detached haha.

woesome tales of doggydom 3

Let me introduce you to the third member of my pack – Tuuli - he was named after the wind. This boy is FAST I tell you what! It takes him about half an acre to hit his stride, but after that you won't see a thing....but you will feel a breeze and wonder….

We found the Tuu between the gates on one of the coldest mornings of the year, hiding under my truck. Someone, some BUBBA (that term is derogatory in my book) had thrown him over the front gate like so much trash. Someone who did not appreciate this little man….

Tuu-wala is some type of an Australian shepherd, a herder…..why do I collect herders? It's not like I have a pasture of sheep?! Rabbits anyone!?!?
Anyway, he is such a good dog, even if he is a bit of a brown-noser hehe. He's my little aide-de-camp. He doesn't play with the other dogs (you have GOT to be kidding, I am not a dog like those other plebes!), but stands by my side at all times, ready to take my orders and dispatch them to the troops. He watches the others frolic and make fools of themselves. And when they are out of line he runs over to marshal and discipline (all on mother's orders don'tya know, even if unspoken, I-ME knows what she wants at all times). I never noticed he had progressed to alpha till someone told me to ask the alpha to help me with something, and when I mentioned Dexter they laughed uproariously. HEY! Don't diss the Dex! But they were right….could it be the fact he's the only one with balls? haha

And it was odd, the first two….they tried to kill…I had never seen such animosity from my babies! They chased him down for hours. But one good thing (in their eyes, I'm not having any of it!) to come out of the whole experience….conga pee lines! OMG, he starts and they all follow - - my poor bushes haha. He is so adamant to be the first to pee, that I've caught him peeing on the other dogs when they pee out of line!

Urine….a man's answer for anything.

Tuu is a strange one. I don't know if it was the way he was raised or his breed, but this little guy could live out of a truck. He LOVES to ride, the only one of my pack that does, so he gets to go on lots of trips and receives many many treats (ice cream cones!). If I don't take him for a ride (the duration can be of any length, he doesn't care) at least once a week he will stomp his feet and grab me, any part he can reach, and shake me - - - bad mama! He's gotten trapped between the fence and whatever cause he's trying to follow the truck down the road. Silly boy.

Now for a tuutuuTuuli story - -

Every day when I come home from work, he barks (I, me, my feelings get hurt so I call it yelling hehe), all the way to the house. As if to say "Come on Mom! I want my dinner, hurry hurry Andale!". Well one day I guess I wasn't moving fast enough. You know, I like to pause and appreciate my gardens etc. Well, he grabbed my sleeve and started tugging all the way to the house.
I couldn't help myself….I asked him "What is it Lassie? Is someone in trouble?" hahaha

woesome tales of doggydom 2

So then everyone starting telling me "you need to get Dexter a friend". HUH?! WHA?! One dog is none too many!! Now you're gonna kidnap another?! nonono But the next…the next….well let's just say he came to visit and I locked him in, hehe.

Cholla….Cholla Teddy Bear to be exact.
I named him after a type of cactus that breaks off into segments and catches rides on passer-bys. This little boy wandered by one day and I decided to plant him, then put a tomato cage around him, ha. I know he belonged to the neighbors across the road, but he was always over at my place. Dexter had enticed him with promises of cookies……"if you kiss her hand and bump her in the legs she'll yell at you then give you a cookie. Do it, DOIT!"

Yeppers, leg bumping by a herding dog, nothing better. I tried to give the neighbors one last chance to save me. I caught them driving by one day while I was checking the mail and yelled ~is this your dog? To which she replied, while never taking her foot off the gas "oh yea, go home pepper".

Pepper? wtf….PEPPER?! You DO NOT deserve this dog if you're imagination is that stunted….PEPPER?! ACK!

So Chollo-mio came to stay at casa ChaCha, may god bless his piebald soul.

I want to talk to you people about the hardest head known to Christendom. If the army had my secret weapon all enemies would lay dead in the dust. He has this habit of swinging it up when I'm bending over to hug him….I have been knocked to the ground cold on occasion, hehe. And to further illustrate….I walk around the property with a hammer all the time (you NEVER know when you need to hit something) and my arms aswinging, Cholla's trying to herd me to the porch and farther to the cool indoors…..and WHAM BAM CLUNK. I'm freaking, thinking I've caved his skull in, whip around and he's just standing there. "Why'd we stop mom?" yep….secret weapon. Can you tell he's an Aries?

And there has never been any alpha juggling with Cholla in the house. This boy is long, tall and sneaky. He sits back, not exerting anything that would cause a pant, letting Dexter whine and jump, wearing himself out doing tricks and such, then in saunters Cholla (and I mean saaaaaauuuuuunter, like a lazy old lion) to take whatever, hehe. He's a pig herder you understand….and Dexter has that plump well-fed look of the classic cookie monster.

woesome tales of doggydom

I was regaling someone today with woesome tales of my awful willful children, and they said I just had to write this shit down……so here it is in all it's goriness.

I have four boys. You may have seen their pictures in my album. Don't let those angelic looking-at-something-else-to-distract-mom pictures fool you. I know all their tricks…well, at least the ones they've shown me, hehe. I weep and rail, shout and threaten every day of their lives, but do they listen to me??!?~ hell no, it's "yea yea yea mom, where's the cookies". I am so abused~~~whines (please note….look below…I AM not).

I guess I need to introduce them so you can know who I'm telling tales on.


Well, he thinks he's number one. You see, he and I have had that battle since day one. And being a Gemini he thinks he who whines the loudest wins. Well let me tell you something baby boy……he who has the cookies wins! muhahahaha.

You know, I didn't start my life as a dog person. I was most happy bowing down to the felines in my life. Their lordliness was more in keeping with my behind-the-throne machinations. But dogs….in your face, on your grass, lets-wipe-our-mouths-on-your-clothes-when-you-hug-us tricksters. What the fuck was I thinking?!

I bought some land a few years ago, and was immediately told "you must have a dog!"

Well golly-gee, won't my attack cats do the job? I mean, who could possibly withstand the pampered claws of death?

So I put it off, always coming up with an excuse ~~I need to buy a dog house~~ I need to find a spot for a dog bowl~~ I need to move to another state……

Then one day it came, that dreaded phone call…."I found a dog on the side of the road, starving, flea-bitten, scared to death, I'm bringing it over"…..oh god forbid! So he came into my house and was ushered into the bathroom for a bath (those pesky fleas ya know) before I could register it all . And I'm rubbing this half grown puppy, he's whining (Gemini…), not feeling a single bone….only discovered one lone flea in the tub....
I've been had!!!

Where did you get this dog?!
"Oh! We found it walking down the street in this neighborhood".
You kidnapped someone's dog?!?!
"But you need one~~whines" (please note, another Gemini)
~~sigh sigh sigh

So Dexter, that self proclaimed genius of the underground laboratory came to live in ChaCha land. WOE unto me and my kitties. I shall save all my Dexter stories for when I can remember them, hehe. But I shall keep all abreast of continuing developments in the struggle for Alphadom!


This poem was found with the Dead Sea Scrolls. I really appreciate the dichomoty. And I love the last stanza.























Memories of Caya

We were giddy young fools, Jaes and I. We were intoxicated with our powers, wanting to experience everything our abilities had to offer. We weren't vain or egotistical, but more innocent, testing the limits of our curiousity.

I've slowly remembered this episode in my past lives. It's taken years of soul-remembering. I can remember the power - the shame - the anguish for what we did in our ignorance.

Giddy young fools............

Let me introduce myself - not the who I am now - but the who I was then - Caya. In this lifetime I've been somewhat of a recluse, shying away from people. This has always been due to my ultra-sensitivity. I've never been able to look into people's eyes - didn't want to know what I'd see there. I've always felt I was invading people's lives and minds. Also, I was afraid others could see the shame in mine.

But, some years ago I became open - the New Age movement had come to town. At the time it was a revelation. Remembrances were stirring and awakening like a sluggish, hibernating beast. Some were pleasant, even exhilarating. But then some had vague undertones of uneasiness attached to them, of the unleashing of things left alone.

I now thank the New Age movement for opening my soul-eyes, but I was becoming increasingly uneasy with its non-structure. Beliefs and practices were being borrowed from many paths, and were being melded or interpreted in a way that didn't lend structure or protection. I began to resist the gurus, to go my own journey. I know this was not the way to enlightenment, nor was it healthy. The old ways were sought.

But what were the old ways? And how did I know they existed? And even more disturbing - who could I find to teach me? I was not interested in the occult, that which had grown up around Christianity. Something more ancient, more basic was calling me.

About 2 years ago I made contact with someone on the astral. It was only in passing and information was exchanged. I thought it was a dream. But the next day this person visited my house. This was not a spirit or 'entity', but the astral body of a living person. I was terrified because I, in my short lifetime, don't ever recall experiencing an event such as this. The person who came to visit me was a consummate astral traveler, and I was in awe of his abilities. I've astral traveled before, but it was always sub-consciously done, through no effort on my part. I had no control.

Thus I met with Jaes again. He began to visit regularly, and take me on adventures. All the while he was telling me that I already knew all this, prompting, me to remember. We visited other dimensions, other planets. We went to the high meadow and danced the sky down with the other revelers, to hear the music of the universe.

Then, he slowly began urging me to remember our past lives together through dreams, trances and automatic writing. Our first life together was not many years after colonization, when he was a wormrider and I a guardian of the portals. Our next major life together was in pre-Atlantean times, about the time all the experimentation was beginning. Of our child born horribly deformed due to Jaes' experiments with energy. Of how we had to release it into the seas, for it could never live among our kind.

Of our past life in a pre-Bronze Age society, where I was a priestess of the temple, engaged to tutor the ruler's daughter, and Jaes was a courtesan bent on becoming her consort. I was required to train the princess in the arcane arts, and Jaes blackmailed me into teaching him the same knowledge, so he could be equal or superior to her when they wed. And of how the princess, who had been raised with absolute power of her subjects, who had no conscious or remorse about wielding that power, destroyed Jaes and I because of Jaes' brutality and hunger for power.

Many more lives were remembered - of drinking, carousing mercenaries, of being students of a great magician.

But the lifetime that is the crux of this story was about to enfold.


Water - it has touched everything. It falls from the sky, goes down through the earth, comes up in springs, evaporates.. the cycle continues. We come from the water. Our remains return to the water. Everything has water in it at one time or another. Lakes lapping, plants nourished, stones touching the banks. Trees shading the shore. Life is calm, birds drink. I sit on the grass and absorb the moisture. I touch the grass, put it in my mouth.

Do you want? What, more? It is not enough. Something, somewhere. Touching, whole. Why are we individuals? Communion, compassion, sharing. A waste to see alone....share with me.

Why are you in torment? I am here. Release, relinquish. I absolve you.

Be not afraid. Be not alone. See the stars?

Don't fight the gift, let it flow. The secret?

Why do we repeat the past? It is easier, remembered patterns. The animals are a link with that time. When we rejected out kind. The animals accepted.

Mirrors - when you look in a mirror and there is no reflection, you have learned.

The stones have told me things..what? To bring it down to their level, lower than flora....secrets....time..purpose. We do not exist except as sand blown in the wind.

There is no other life in the universe. Every star is but a reflection of our own at a different time. That's why we haven't made contact..the time loop on this planet at this moment hasn't looped close to another. Time is but a ribbon our sun is traveling on. It's twisted and knotted. Sometimes we are close to ourselves.

The cards don't predict the future. What we choose will happen because we choose it. If you want joy, choose the sun.
You are not going to die until you don't care anymore. Until there is nothing left to interest you. But, the mystery is still there. Do you want to know and ruin it?

A cleansing

I got a call from a frantic relative. Strange going-ons. Disembodied voices, near the center of the house. The baby talking to nothing. They had called in the mechanical people to see if it was air conditioning, ham radio, etc., but no earthly explanation was given. The call to me was a last resort.

I arrived on a Saturday morning with my new dog, a familiar of exceptional abilities. We ushered the family outside and the dog made a sweep of the house. I began at the entryway and walked the interior, in a counter clock-wise motion. I encountered only 3 openings, but no entities - I believe the dog herded them all thru the portals before I began. Two of the portals were right outside the baby's room, and the other was behind his highchair - all near the center of the house. When I performed the last closure procedure, I got the impression that the house was sitting on a glass foundation, and that we were being watched from below. It felt similar to an exhibit in a zoo.

I went outside and gave the news to the family. I believe the baby, in its naiveté, had opened portals for playmates. When I tried to speak to the child about this, it ran off. I was talking to the parents about their special child and that they shouldnt condemn or try to limit its curiosity, when the child walked up. Its hands were covered with fire ants and he had been stung many times. Well, an emergency atmosphere ensued and the cleansing was forgotten. The parents went about calling the doctor and getting treatment, and I was left holding the child, who seemed to be in shock. At one point he grabbed one of my elekes (beaded necklaces) and began to fold and unfold it. It looked up at me thru its lashes and laughed. Chills went down the back of my neck.

The following Monday I was leaving for work. I have to drive up to the gate, get out and unlock and open, drive out and then go and shut and lock the gate. When I had gotten back into my truck and was buckling up, I looked in the rear view mirror. Now, this is 4:30 in the morning, mind you. And the only thing I could see was what was in the glow of the brake lights. A form, man-like, raised up behind my truck. All I could see was the silhouette - it was tall with broad shoulders, and shoulder length hair. I immediately locked the doors (power locks - thank god), put the truck in reverse and stomped on the gas. I backed up to the next lot and put on my bright lights - nothing there.

After my heart settled down, I proceeded to work. Later in the morning, before dawn, I was out on the patio at work. I was walking up to the doors. There was a street lamp behind me. Suddenly something passed between me and the lamp. A shadow at least 8 feet in width passed across the wall in front of me. I felt the air vibrate and a rush of wind. Nothing that big or solid could have gotten onto the patio, because we have netting over the top to keep the pigeons out. My heart stopped again as I ducked. I felt very silly as other people stared at me in confusion.

I went about my business that day, but strange happenings were afoot. As I went about my duties around the building and taking calls, a connecting issue began to appear. Every call I took and every computer or printer I stood next to began to act crazy. I got the data-comm people involved, and they said it was as a second IP address (the same each time) inhabiting every piece of equipment I was calling in about that day. They were mystified. Finally, when the issue was identified but not explained, the problem ceased. Strange..

I arrived home in the afternoon. Now for a little background..I had put up a spell for parameter protection a few weeks prior to all this hoopla, because of an incident pertaining to one of my dogs, the neighbors and a machete. Never mind, suffice it to say it got ugly. Anyway, I had opened the gate and was backing into the driveway. For some reason I looked forward for a moment - the gate was coming at me like someone had tossed it with force! This is a ranch gate, and is 12 feet across - my spell had been for a 10 foot parameter around my property. I gunned the engine again and narrowly missed a dent on my bumper. There was no breeze that day - what caused the gate to swing forward with such force? Well, the heart had to be slowed down again.

The next day, nothing happened, until I had gotten in the house and was standing by the back door getting the dogs their food. Thru the miniblinds on the back door, I could clearly see a man standing right by the door. He must have sensed my attention, because he moved to the side out of my vision. I freaked, opened the door and the dogs rushed out. No one there! We walked around the house - the dogs picked up nothing.

Well, I had about had it! I had to call for guidance. I phoned one of my associates. She felt it was something that had attached itself to the baby, and was angry that I had closed off all access. She suggested I light a candle, burn some sage, connect with the child and tell it to stop calling its friend. I was then to call and talk to the child. Well, it took me about 10 minutes to complete all the actions, and when I called my family friend and she answered, the child was having a holy fit! I asked what was wrong, and she said she didn't know, that he had just started screaming about 10 minutes before. Uh huh I asked her to put the phone up to the child so I could speak to him, and the child went wild. He screamed and crawled out of her lap - he wanted nothing to do with me and my message.

Things finally calmed down - no more visitations for me. But my family friend said the child started talking to something again. Stands right in front of her and carries on a conversation with something unseen. But, no other manifestations, so all were happy with the outcome. I've since had many discussions with this child, trying to guide and instruct. We shall see how the little man progresses.

The Wheelchair

Wandering around the hospital corridors late at night, looking for a way out. God, I hate hospitals. Makes another turn down another long corridor - sheeesh - where is the damned elevator!

I pass another hall running off to the right and keep going. A small voice, "Are you looking for the elevator honey?" I back up slowly. There halfway down the hall is an older lady in a hospital gown holding the elevator doors open. She beckons me, "come on honey".

I say thanks and hurry to get to the doors. We walk in together and turn to face the doors. They haven't closed yet, and there is a group of people huddled on a bench in front of us. They look up at me strangely, but I get that a lot so take no mind. The doors close and I face the older woman. She points out the empty wheelchair in the car with us. "Isn't that strange? An empty wheelchair in an empty elevator." I get a slight chill with this comment, but decide to make a joke anyway, something about that's why they can't find these things; they are sitting in the elevators. She is still pointing to the chair, and I give it my focus. I get the impression that whoever last used it has departed, left it where it stood, for a more peaceful place.

The doors open - the gift shop is in front of us - and the woman walks out. She has a spring to her step and is smiling. I follow her, like a buoy swept after a boat. We turn right and there is an empty chapel - rows of chairs, an altar, stained glass - the whole room is bathed in a golden light. The elevator doors close and the woman turns to me. "Oh no honey, you don't want to get off here". She runs over and pushes the button - the doors immediately open and she ushers me inside. She turns to go towards the chapel as the doors close again.

I think - this was a strange interlude. Wonder if it had meaning?

The next day I'm at the hospital again, during daylight hours. The person I'm visiting and I decide to go downstairs and take a walk. She takes me to the same elevator (no wheelchair) and we get off on the same floor. There is the gift shop. We turn right - into a lobby?! I tell my friend about the night before. There must be another elevator somewhere near here, near the gift shop. We hunt and search, to no avail. Then another odd occurrence - we start to take the elevator up, and I can't get on. My friend finally goes on the 3rd try, but I'm left standing there 3 more times. I finally decide to take a walk of my own, to explore this little space. The lobby is huge - glass walls and modern furniture. Doctors meeting doctors. Very busy. I finally give the elevator another try and make it on the 7th try.

The Visitation

I was awoken by a sound - what was it? It was melodic, and insistent, getting louder and more demanding. It finally rap rap rapped me to consciousness. The notes of the classical guitar lingered then faded as my brain reached the surface. I lay there trying to determine where this music had came from and what tune. I had never heard that song before - very Elizabethan. It couldn't have been my neighbors - Mexican nationals on either side of me, disco-divas across the street. My bedroom faced the small narrow lane, not ten ft from the curb. Could it have been a passing car? But the melody had played me awake, and had left as soon as it had accomplished its mission. Hmmmmm, guess it was time to get up. As always, I'm a groggy morning person. Do not talk to me - I will not respond. I crawled out of bed and staggered thru the hallway that connected the two bedrooms in the house - you had to pass through them to reach the kitchen, and my much desired coffee. The sun was up - had been for an hour or so already. As I walked past the bathroom, I detected a golden glow ahead in the back bedroom. It couldn't be the sun - my house was heavily shaded by enormous ancient live oak trees, and the sun barely leached through the windows. What in the heck was it? As I reached the doorway to the bedroom, I saw to my right an apparition. It was not solid, but outlined in a vivid gold. I could see the surface of its skin, aglow in other worldly color. I saw each sinew, each hair - it was clearly visible but transparent. Every surface glinted with its metallic pallor. As I approached within a foot of it, it stirred. It was so enormous - if it stood upright it would have reached 8 feet easily. It had a pair of wings - they were folded up and crowded into the small bedroom, scraping the ceiling and walls. The apparition raised its head and opened its mouth to speak. The atmosphere fairly hummed - the guitar sonata again. But before it could proceed, up went my hand. Nope, nope I said, NOT until I've had me coffee! I proceeded thru the bedroom to the coffee machine. My house was one of those old shotgun varieties - each room led into the other, so that you could make a circuit throughout the house without having to stop. After having set the coffee machine to perk, I walked around thru the living room back to my bedroom. I dressed and went on to the bathroom, peaking into the back room - my guest was gone. Oh well, guess it wasn't that important. And it should have known about the no-talking-in-the-morning rule anyway!

I had thought that maybe what I experienced was a morning hallucination - what that is I don't know. Maybe a lingering effect of a dream, which I could not recall. But for the next three days odd happenings - objects disappeared, or were moved. 'Presents' were left in the house or the yard - earthly concoctions made of bits of twigs, rocks, feathers. Birds eggs appeared on my back steps - what in the heck was going on!?

Finally on the third day I could take no more. I sat down at my desk with pad and pencil, having been compelled to do so. "All right!" I yelled, "let's get it over with. I need to get on with me life here!" I put pen to paper and began the automatic writing session. And this is what was conveyed to me -

To cleanse a house

You must always bring water, in some form. It doesn't need to be holy. Carry it with you. We will be there. When you are through with the cleansing, rinse your hands with it.

You can use incense, but it is not necessary. Visualize the light coming from your hands. Your hands are the key. The fingers and palms should be open, not closed in a fist.

You will be encountering many entities from many planes that have lost their way. Gently show them the door or a window. You don't need to open either. Visualize the astral plane, for this is the highway they have deviated from.

You can use sand as well as salt to seal your work. Touch any wires leading outside, for some entities can travel thru electricity, getting caught by the field and going where they don't want to.

Always leave a gift for any trees or outstanding plants, inside and out. Orange, raisons, eucalyptus, tobacco, calcium.

Wind chimes or prisms in a window with bright light or where there is much traffic will deflect.

Draw a figure outside the front door (a bracket tipped up, another tipped down, with a line intersecting).

Don't worry that it will be destroyed, for the earth remembers.

Instruct - bird feeders, flowers, trees.

The Conversation

This is a conversation that took place on the astral. I chronicled these meetings on paper - to some this would be called automatic writing. I will post some of these talks here, in hopes of generating more conversations. Here is an example of what was discussed......


A - Did I interrupt you the other day?

B - Yes, but not to worry. I was not irritated, just distracted.

A - Were you wearing a mask?

B - No, just slipping into a persona. I was investigating an occurrence on my property When I go deep to sense, my head disappears. Your distraction worked to my advantage. You took the focus off me and when I sent the raven away to you, the anomaly lost track of me in my state.

A - What was it?

B - Something was trying to create a bridge, which is not as stable as a portal. I was able to recognize this and give aid.

A - Did you want whatever was trying to get through to be here?

B - Yes, as it turns out. It was someone from that time you spoke of. They had heard our thoughts and wanted to give input. Very fascinating. Did you know that the race of that era could feel the very fabric of time and where it had worn? They could squeeze through loose threads and enter into anytime. We of course would not have known they were here (when), only that something was out of phase. He tells me that this accounts for a lot of the missing time we experience. Humans are being interviewed. What knowledge they can glean is taken back with them. He recognized me - said I was present in his era also. We took to reminiscing and I recalled that life. I was a wormrider. I used to take off into the wilds. You were there, living where no other soul would venture. You were fearless or naïve, he couldn't tell which. He said you wanted to discover things for yourself, not be told like everyone else. I was of course the wanderer. I would travel to visit all my far-flung friends, but would never venture out on my own. I would bring back all of the discoveries and insights to the masses. You lived on the shore of a molten sea. You befriended the myriad creatures, too fantastic for the mind's eye, from your oasis; the jumping off into utter space - the void. You could and did travel to other planets with a step. You felt most at home, if any where, with the inhabitants of the outer planets. You claimed the inner galaxy was too hot. I went with you a few times, but the alienness of it all was not to my taste. But you thrived. He said I eventually settled down in your oasis on the shore, after you had departed for parts unknown to found a great city. I waited for you for many eons and when you eventually returned - the change in you! I had settled down to learn all there was to learn in our little existence (you had inspired me), but you went after it all. You'd traveled to the very centre of our universe to meet and befriend the 'first'. You even traveled to other galaxies. You were no longer of this dimension. But we did reminiscence, for you had grown wistful in your aging, and together we plumbed the depths of your knowledge. You eventually left to settle on a planet all your own. And I would of course visit. This is why you don't feel settled - why you are bored. I, on the other hand, thrived in my existence and still do. I use what I learn, whereas you look at it and shrug your shoulders, toss it aside, and continue to search. What are you looking for?

A - Oh man, lay a heavy question on me. I guess I was/am looking for the basic, most simple answer for everything. I like to discover what others have made of their existence, and what answers they've come up with. But, I know it is not the basic equation. It all has to do with perception, and though I respect others views I know it's not the true answer. They have made do and rationalized what they could. Made the best of it. And for their set of circumstances, it may have been the truth, but it was not the common denominator. You do know that the 'first', even they had legends - of another race! Even they rationalized - they were their ancestors - but I do not believe so. Somewhere, sometime, the first spark was ignited in a void, and that in turn gave spark to another. I don't think the beginning of 'all' was a master race. I think it was a celestial entity - the true first - created out of the void. It still travels about, oblivious to us all. To all it has created. I could sense it on the shore of my sea. This is everyone's 'God", who does not listen. Who is in turn, searching for the answer for its own existence. We are all in tune with each other, in tune with the raging curiosity. It's what defines all other existence. It's what we have in common, what we sense about nothing and each other. And I don't know any of us will ever truly find that answer.

B - Heavy answer….

Ever had one of those moments……

You're going through the day, everything is fine, then someone says something, just a word, not even a meaningful word, and BAM!

You're no longer there, but in the dream you had last night, the dream you didn't remember until that very moment. It's like that person and their word were a trigger, a hypnotist's cue. You have been transported, no longer aware of the here and now…..

......I'm on a narrow, winding country lane. Fields of grass stretch out on all sides. My destination, to meet a good friend, to surprise him in his country retreat. He doesn't know I'm coming, I wasn't even invited. But I know I will be welcome, for the efforting will please him to no end. I'm walking briskly. Behind me, there is a small black woman. She is wrapped in a shawl against the late afternoon chill. She has been to work, and is on her way home…a singular journey made 5 days a week. We are traveling together, yet not; aware of each other, but giving the much needed space of strangers. She begins to sing, a quiet gospel melody, to ease her way home. It has an uplifting beat, makes me want to skip. This is awesome, as I have not been able to do this in ages. My legs, now so damaged and weak, are young again, bouncing with child-like abandon. I am energized and take off down the road, skipping and hopping with joy in each step. The small lady keeps pace with me, but is simply walking…….how strange.

Off to the left, I see the hills. On the other side of those hillocks is my friend. I wish I could just soar over the ground and get there in minutes, but I know the slower journey is necessary, will even be worthwhile. Anticipation is the best reward. We come to a crossroad, the small lady and I.…I am to turn to the left, for the longed for reunion, and she to continue on ahead. I slow to look her in the eye, to give thanks for the music. She smiles, and in my heart I hear her say…."keep it hun, you've earned the pizzazz."

The miles fly by, my feet swift and never tiring. Many twists and turns are encountered on this empty road, but it is neither boring nor lonely. I've always relished solitude, and oneness with nature is my favorite pastime. I finally come to a small hamlet, a place of hot springs. The whole town is geared towards the tourist and invalid. I go into a rest stop, to freshen and relieve myself. There is a nurse there, ready to whisk me away to the waters once I'm done. Yet I, thinking in my mind…..just out that back door, the one marked 'Staff Only', is a direct path to my friend….to the hills….to enjoyment. I don't have to partake of the 'cure', I don't have to make this convoluted journey of days, months or even years, traveling back roads that forever meander through life's rest stops. I repack my bag and slip out unbeknownst to the service-oriented populace. I am free to do what I will! Go! Don't let anyone stop you! Run!

Over the grass I race, my feet eating up the inches, feet, yards, hectares. The hill is before me, and dusk is falling. I can see the path, vague but visible in the rising full moon's light and waning sun's angry burst of ending. It is a path less journeyed, and all the more precious for it. Straight up I run, how can this be? I should not be able to do this….I am clawing at the grass, thinking I am to fall, but my legs and enthusiasm carry me over. And I pause….on the brink of….of….

Oh what the hell, lets get going, times a wasting.
And the path down is anti-climactic, sand and grass getting in my shoes and clothes, slipping on my butt, skidding the rest of the way down the hill on my heels and behind. I take off at a jog, and just as the light fades to black I spy the lights in the windows of the cabin nestled up against the slowing moving river and trees, my journey ended. I have come home, I am welcomed, I am content. Life doesn't get any better than this…..
I wish. Hey, this is a dream after all. Wake Up!

Just another evening....

While asleep one evening, I got an urgent nudge to wake up….Now! My eyes opened slowly and……there was someone standing over me, looking right at me - not 6 inches from my face! I gasped and recoiled, lashing out with fists and nails….into thin air. Damn me! What the fuck was that? I clearly saw a head, eyes peering, mouth pursed. I…..I….what was it? I jumped out of bed and started turning on lights in a frantic rush to illuminate my world. one.... was it a dream? No, I clearly saw intelligence in those eyes, a connection. Fuck!

Out came the sage. I was gonna smudge this house within an inch of its life. For once the smudge stick lit on first try. You know about this don't you? If the stick is hard to light, it means bad juju is afoot. But this thing fired right up. Well, I was gonna use this to my advantage. I placed the smudge stick in a cast iron skillet and placed in the center of the house. Let it burn, burn all the shit away. I sat up for about an hour, huddled on the couch, my stones and animals around me. Watchful, ever watchful…. I went back to bed, but kept a light on. I wanted to see this apparition before it got too close next time.

I woke with a start about 3 hours later. When did I fall asleep? My eyes were clearly open, I had been terrified. How could I have just fallen asleep?! But sleep I did. And in the mean time, that old sage stick had gone psychotic. The whole house was filled to the brim with smoke! I could barely see my hand in front of me. What the fuck? There couldn't have been that much sage to burn! Where did all this smoke come from?

And then I saw it, through the wafting smoke…. it walked in front of a great puff of a cloud, its outline clearly visible. A man…..a man walking around my house….snooping….sneaking. I bet he didn't think I could see him. "Damn it, this is my house, fucker", I shouted. He started, paused, turned. It was the face I saw when I woke up earlier! He was looking directly at me. He tried to speak, but no sound was heard. Oh jesus, jesus, what the heck?! And then he walked over to me, cowering under my covers, coughing from all the sage smoke. And his hand reached out………and went right through me. But at that moment, I was filled with such a great sense of calm. "Silly chit" the thought came to me, "you think the sage would burn if I was evil? Do you think it would burn so brightly?" "Don't you know I amplified the smoke, so you could see me?"

Ahhh, yes, I understood now. This was not a spirit, but an actual person, someone come on a visit. The astral body of a traveling adept. A spirit, a bodiless one, would not be so purposeful. This mystic entity walked about as if really here, spoke, albeit to my mind, as you would standing there. His emotions, thoughts, focus were direct and intelligent. The fact that his shadowy body had so much detail told volumes about his abilities. I was a trembling novice in his presence. He must have been drawn to this house, to me, because of the energy I generate. The fact that he was poking my scattered safeguards told me that he knew what I was about and his nodding showed approval. His aura even improved and shored up some of them - I could feel their increased power glowing. Here was someone who was offering their expertise. Some One in this abysmal universe I could possibly go to for assistance…..yet a total stranger. Fascinating.

He faded away through the glimmer, a soft "see you later" echoing on the smoke. I got up and went to check on the sage. Only half of it had burned! And generated this much smoke? He was right, his abilities had amplified.

The next day, another discovery. I had bought one of those garden gazing globes for my mother as a gift, and had yet to get it to her. I had placed it in the middle of the living room, wanting to enjoy it as long as I could. I was going about my business, cleaning and puttering, when I glanced over at it in passing. I could clearly see movement! But nothing was in the room except me, and I was standing still, not breathing….yet there was movement. This continued throughout the day and into the evening, the cloaked visitor only visible through smoke or mirrors, a constant companion. The next day some friends came over. I was hoping to get confirmation, so I said nothing to them, wanting to get an honest reaction. I settled everyone in the living room, supplying refreshments. I sat down and became perfectly still. I let my friends get comfortable. And then that moment, when everyone relaxes and zones into their surroundings. Then….Oh, the gasps! HA HA! The 'What the fucks?' "There is a man walking around the room!" they cried. Then the heads went to swinging…. Oh yea, we were playing now….

Can you understand now why I have trouble sleeping?

I was deep in sleep, totally oblivious to the waking world and the empty household. Held in the black void that isn't, unaware of any dreams or sounds. Then suddenly….a body drops onto my chest! Oomph. I try to jackknife up, but the weight is too much. My arms are trapped and I am pinned to the bed. I hear scrambling on the floor next to the bed. Oh shit, what is this? I start twisting and turning frantically, trying to get out from underneath this person. They are clawing me, trying to hang on. There's something in their hand…a flashlight? I don't fucking care, its mine now and I grab it and start hitting them all about the head and torso with the one arm I've managed to wiggle free. I hear muffled cries and they let go. A slithering sound on the floor. What the fuck is this thing?, I jump up and lean hard into the wall next to my bed, making myself as small as possible in the corner formed by the head board and wall. The moonlight is filtering into the room in watery rays, and I see something…There! What??! It's a full size man shape, but there are no legs. Just a long tapering form. Wtf? It slithers off on its elbows into the far corner of the room, breathing hard with a rasping wheeze, whimpering. I can barely make out its form….it seems to be a blue-grey color, but that may be the effects of the moonlight. Hairless, flat face, bulbous eyes, slit nose, muscular arms and torso.

We are at an impasse, this creature and I. For I was not getting on the floor, and it was terrified of me…where the heck did this 'thing' come from?? And why did it jump on me? Jesus fuck, I really need this…. After a few minutes, we both stop panting. I am the first to move, inching my way to the end of the bed and the door out. The creature flinches, afraid I will rain down more blows. Oh yea, what was this thing in my hand? It would have to wait. I make a mad dash over the footboard for the door. I get out, howling the whole way. Yikes!

I slam the door on my way out, run all the way down the stairs. Shit shit. What now? That thing is still upstairs, in my room! Oh god, what do I do?? Who can I call? AnnaLee! I make a run for the phone…I don't care if its one in the morning, shit! She answers on the 2nd ring - oh thank god! I'm babbling incoherently, panic and hysteria in my voice. But that girl….she is awesome. She already knows what's going on. Shit! She didn't feel my panic, she felt that thing's! Oh good lord….

I'm trembling violently, trying to make sense of her words. He has slipped into this world accidentally she says, through a portal. He is as terrified as you are. He's not used to our atmosphere, our gravity. His is a gaseous world, where he swims through the air. He was confused and saw another sentient being, came to you for aid. "Well don't claw at me god damnit! Jesus, he fell on me! Woke me from a sound sleep!" "Just try to think from his perspective cha, he's in an unknown place, no bearings, a gravity…..what would you do?" Go loudly insane of course….

She tells me to go back upstairs, to see what I can do to help. Oh hell no, uh uh, not me. So she tells me she's on her way and I sit down on the couch to wait. I can hear things falling and being dragged and moved upstairs, right above my head. Oh, oh, you better get here fast girlie. After about 20 minutes there is a knock on the door and I rush over to open it. There stands this little dynamo of a woman, red hair flying, pjs and cowboy boots - yeehaw! My hero! We walk back into the living room and stand directly under my bedroom and listen…not a sound. We crawl slowly up the stairs like a pair of silent movie cops, me clasping the back of her shirt, she fearless. We walk down the suddenly long hallway, our anticipation and dread make the journey seem endless. The doorknob is turned with expectations of violence…..but we are met with silence. The light switch is flicked and we turn the corner….nada…no one. But the far corner of the bedroom is a shambles. The shelves emptied, clutter all over the floor.

"Was this the corner it ran too?" she asks. "Yes yes" I answer. "Oh, remember the last time I was here and the anomaly we encountered? You remember, the bent reality? Where I could push the wall in and you were able to slip your hand through?" AnnaLee asks. " Oh yea, now I remember. It was right there, at waist level on those shelves. Do you think that's where it came from? Where it went to?" "Yes hun, right there" is her answer.

So we proceeded to clean up the mess left behind by this creature in its mad haste to leave our world. I must have dropped the 'flashlight" in my wild dash for freedom, for it was never found. AnnaLee said it was some type of information gathering device, but we will never know. We erect a little safeguard in that corner, something to disperse any gathering of energy. And all is calm in my world again…..till the next time.

One for the memoirs....

My eyes open slowly….I feel like I'm encased in molasses. What is going on? Why did I wake up? I see out of the corner of my eye, because I can barely move my head, that there is a glow coming from the living room. Noises, shuffling. Are there people out there? Is someone in my house? A shadow crosses over my eyes….something is in the room with me. Then I hear a faint suggestion…..go back to sleep. Nothing is going on….nothing to see.

I wake up with a start. What time is it? Did I really wake up earlier? I look out the doorway to the living room, and yes, there is a light on. I stagger up and out of bed, feeling like I have been hit by a truck. Weaving, grasping the door jam for support, I make my way out into the living area. Cyrus's tank light is on….what the heck? I reel over to the water dragon's 6 foot tall tank and draw his night time curtain aside. Boy, the glare I get! That tail goes to thrashing and he is spitting mad. What in the world is his light doing on? My head is foggy as hell, like I'm hung over big time. His heat lamp is on a timer, which is plugged into the wall behind the tank. I bend over to grasp the edge so I can wheel it aside and almost fall over……his tank has already been pulled out! What in the world? My head and eyes are so fractured I couldn't see this right away, but his tank has been pulled out a good 2 feet from the wall. And this tank is heavy! Made of old doors and a cast iron sink, it has to weigh a good 300 pounds. I reach down to check the timer, and it's been changed as well….wtf?!

I set things to right and try to sooth Cyrus, but he is very upset. He only gets this way when someone has invaded his territory. Was someone in here earlier? The questions keep mounting up…. I head back to bed, my mind a jumble. Oh, this will have to wait for morning and a clearer head.

The next morning I awaken sore for some reason. My arms and legs feel like lead. I inspect them for a reason for the ache and come across some bruises on my arm…..fingertip sized bruises. What in the world? As I have no earthly explanation, I put it down to wild thrashings of the night. I go about the next few days, the events of that night haunting and nibbling. WAS someone in my house? Did someone pull out Cyrus's tank to turn on his light and give him a look? These thoughts keep circling and landings are attempted, but no concrete answer is ever arrived at.

A week later I'm relaxing in my over stuffed lazyboy watching TV when a movie starts up….Communion. Now, I've always been a UFO buff and thought I knew all the scenarios, but when I saw those little squat grey men…..Jesus! What was flashing in front of my eyes was like a script from that night…….awakened by lights and noises, unable to move, feeling drugged, voices telling you to go back to sleep……..

Well, I guess this will be one for my memoirs….


It was a late fall afternoon, when the shadows are long and the air is crisp. The month was November, the mid point between seasons. I think I would have been better prepared for what happened next if it had been near one of the high points of the cycle. I was traveling down FM 1100 (how portentous). A trip I took every day for 10 months coming home from work, for I was staying with a friend and her family at the time. It was a long journey, an hour, hour and a half depending on the day of the week and the traffic patterns. Most of the journey was spent on highways fighting the angry Texas drivers. But every chance I got I would veer off the busy interstate, go down this country road and enter into another century. Farm Road 1100….. It meandered through old Swedish farmsteads, their churches' spires shooting up into the wide open sky, the only landmarks in an otherwise boring landscape. I only drove a little jog of about 10 miles, but the time spent there was a guilty pleasure I tried to gift myself with frequently.

On this day in question I was traveling down the road going east as usual. I looked up in the sky and saw rising columns….thermals, the type you would normally see buzzards lazily riding. But these helixes were different. Unlike the average ones these were filled with of hundreds upon hundreds of birds. But not just any birds….raptors. Of all shapes and sizes. Night birds as well as day hunters. There was one near the road I was traveling, and as I looked off into the distance, I saw 3 more. Same scenario….filled with raptors. Riding the warm winds up and down, circling round and down. Now, I have never heard of hawks riding thermals, let alone a mixed bag of these types of birds. And who had ever heard of raptors migrating? Or being in the company of their own kind, let alone others of that group? These birds were all solitary hunters….what would cause them to congregate?? They ranged in size all the way from the smallest night jar up to the majestic bald eagles. We do have the eagles here in Texas, they like to winter on the lakes. But this was in the middle of nowhere farmland - why were THEY here?

I stopped my car because I couldn't drive and look at the curling birds at the same time. The pillars marched down the county line road, spaced out about half a mile apart. I sat there watching the birds traveling up and down the warm drafts, completely mesmerized by the sight. And then my eyes came down to ground level because I was going to drive off. I noticed there was a red tailed hawk sitting on the top of the telephone pole next to my car. And as I looked down the road, I noticed that every pole had a guardian, as far as I could see. I started the car moving again and all heads turned as I passed slowly. Can you imagine how that felt? To be the focus of so many keen, riveting eyes, in unison? Oh….

I came up on the county line road, which just happens to be on a ley line (interesting, no?). The road crossed FM 1100, which at this point also ran the lines….hmmmm. I looked off down that road, to the south, and saw a red tailed hawk sitting on every cedar post that ran the fence line. Oh, I could not pass this up. I slowly turned onto the small one-lane road, inching the car along until I was over the hill and away from the sight of any travelers on FM 1100. Those eyes, omg. The birds sat at eye level with me, and those eyes burrowed into my soul. I would pass one bird, his head swiveling as I drove by, then the next bird would concentrate on me and the pattern was repeated. Chills were running up and down my spine - I thought I was going to blow a gasket the thrill was so intense….

I finally brought my car to a standstill, right across from one of those hawks. I turned the car off and sat there with all windows down, me and the bird completly still. I spoke softly to it, saying that I was getting out of the car. No reaction, not even a blink. I opened the door and slowly slithered out, afraid of the reception I would receive in their proximity….but nothing. All the birds up and down the fence line were now concentrating on me, but no fear was shown, no indication of flight. This was so strange…….

As if cued, the birds took their collective focus off of me and gazed to the east, which was on the driver's side of my car where I was standing. So I moved my line of sight and - omg!!

The field was dotted with bald eagles! All facing east, as the fence sitting birds were. The direction of the mind, of air, of eagles and high-flying birds. Hmmm Their shadows stretching out in front of them a good 10 feet or more. None of the birds in the field paid heed to me, their focus completely on……..what? I walked away from the car, towards the fence, trying to see what the eagles were so intent on. Their scrutiny was not directed at the ground as I would have expected. But why should it be? This field had been fallow for weeks, no rodent population explosions in sight. No, their sights were trained on the air in front of them. So why were they here? And what were they doing? The field, a good 20 acres, was filled with these sentries, all spaced evenly about 10 feet apart. All standing at attention, as if in communion, as if entranced. But by what?

I decided I had to find out what was going on. As no one had reacted badly to my presence I moved closer to the fence, actually laid my arms on the wire. The eagle closest to me finally turned his head and snagged my gaze. I cleared my mind and tried a connection……~~~ what?

The answer came to me on the wind, in many voices, hundreds of voices………….


And nothing else.

I waited for many heartbeats, hoping to hear more. But nothing else was forthcoming. My mind snapped back into my body. What?! What does this mean? They were here because of a rip in the fabric of space? They were feeding? Or were they trying to repair…..


So I stood there with the birds, lending my energy as best I could, facing the east as was shown to me. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the thermals shimmering now, the individual wavelets each bird was riding, coasting on, healing. I could not see these before because my vision was not attuned to the boundless circle of infant life-force. I stayed there until almost night fall, the raptors and I in complete alignment.

I finally, reluctantly, got back into my car. But this time when I began to move I was ignored. It was as if I was one of them now, no threat or suspicion to fall on my actions. I went home and told my friends about this rare occurrence. They too had never heard of such an event. They suggested I call the park service or university to find out more. The next day I made several phone calls, and was rebuffed each time. Raptors do not migrate, nor congregate, nor ride thermals. Especially not a varied cross section as I described. Hmmmm

I went the same route home that day, but all evidence of my encounter was gone. Not a single raptor was in sight, which was in itself unusual. Surely there should be at least one red tailed hawk hunting for his dinner that time of day….

A rare occurrence indeed.

La Belle

I bought two and a half acres of wooded land a few years ago. Love the semi-solitude and the feeling of being one with nature. Lots of critters wandering all over the property. I have found evidence such as foot prints and scat, rubbed/scratched trees and dens, and I've seen and heard many others. And there are plants here you would pay an arm and a leg for at the nursery growing wild….I am in heaven. But as is always the case where ever I live, strange things were afoot.

The house is set in the middle of the property, but with the driveway and washes the front of the property is pretty much visible. It's in the back acre….dark, mysterious, impenetrable. You take one foot into the woods and the shadows descend, cutting you off from the house almost immediately. There are places back there where no light whatsoever penetrates. The black is void….pockets of anti-matter. I tried to familiarize myself with every inch of my property, but there are still spots to this day that I can't reach….not physically, but emotionally, psychically. The oppressiveness overwhelms….the darkness blinds. I now have 3 dogs, and even they avoid certain spots. And the portals, omg….another story. One can get lost back there and no one, not even the dogs, can find you. But like I said, another story….

I wanted to be able to walk and survey all my property, so I began cutting trails, me and my clippers, saw and rake. It was while I was doing this that I began to have strange feelings, feelings that I was being watched. I would look up and just see a shape moving between the shadows. As the days went by, the feelings became stronger, and I began to look up sooner and see clearer. A little girl…..long blond hair….ragged dress. I don't know if she was following me or I just happened to be wherever she was hanging out.

Then the encounters began to multiply. I'd be in the house and see her out the window, at the edge of the woods. It was constant, first every few days, then daily, then…wtf? I was being stalked by a ghost? I mean, with all the other beings and such flitting about back there (and there were legions….another story), why this one? I never saw her face….and I have to tell you, this is a long time nightmare of mine. Can't explain it, don't want to go there. But suffice it to say the encounters began to take on a dread factor.

It had been a few months now, and the encounters slowed down, or else I became immune to her presence. But then again, it could have been all the other shit going on. I was settling in, getting to know my 'other' neighbors. I tell you what, the back of the property was an other-worldly Grand Central Station - whoohoo. If you were at all sensitive, you couldn't keep up with the goings-on. Just pop some popcorn and sit back and watch the show.

I was getting ready for bed one night. My half of the house is a master suite, and I had left the bathroom light on (I was skeered!). The door to the bathroom was directly across from my bed. I had drifted off I think, you know that time where the buzzing starts and your eyes fade in and out. Well something told me to open my eyes….so I did, slowly. And there she was!!! Standing in the doorway, the light from the bathroom a nimbus around her. She was solid as fuck! Jesus! She was looking right at me, though I couldn't see her face….Oh, this was one of my inborn horrors in the flesh. A primal fear that was intertwined with my DNA. My body froze, locked in place by nightmarish memories…. Neither of us moved for some moments, and I tried in vain to close my eyes. When I was finally able to I began putting up shields, the hair on my body rising as I felt her come closer. Jesus fucking horsies! What did she want?! This was getting to personal, to invade my space, my home. The woods were one thing, but in my house?!

So while I was a praying, I could feel her getting closer and closer, my abject terror sending out vibes strong enough to stun a cow. I opened my eyes just as she was reaching out……..and she faded. Poof. Oh thank fucking god! I jumped out of bed and turned on all the lights. Ran around like a headless chicken, just to dissipate the energy. Christ that was close!

The next day I started the Barrier….nothing was allowed into the clearing or my house - y'all could have the back woods, but me and mine was off limits fuckers! Some weeks went by and a semblance of calm returned. My friend AnnaLee happened by one day, and she told me out of the blue (of course) that some little girl was trying to contact me, wanting to ask forgiveness. Seems she was 'assigned' to the property, to monitor and herd émigrés, but that she had slackened in the interval when no one lived on the property. She had just wanted to let me know she was back on the job….well hell, just come out and say so! Don't scare the shit out of me!

Doorways to other worlds

Doorways to other worlds
Reflections of times past
Invitations into your psyche

Which function do these silvered plates achieve for you? I have always had a certain morbid fascination with mirrors. I do not like to look into them. My world and its perceptions become skewed. Is that really me looking back out at me? Or a phantasmagorical creature from another realm appearing to wear my derma, going through the motions to lull me into a false peace? They do not behave the same for me as they do for the rest of you. The actions rarely fit the scene. Did that arm move in the wrong direction? Did that plant quiver? Those eyeslooking back at me..

Case in point......

Years ago I bought a large barber shop mirror from a shop going out of business. It was once of those 6X4 foot monstrosities. I wanted to brighten up my home, let in some much needed light. But the thing was so huge we only got it in as far as the back door - it remained propped up on a kitchen wall, facing the door.
Now this mirror, it would not clean up. No matter what solution I used or how many times I cleaned it, there was a strange haze, a waviness, a fogginess to the view. When we walked by it, it seemed to give a glancing caress. Several times my mirrored arm seemed to reach out to me in passing. Static? Magnetism? Who knows. But it was in a tight spot, a bottleneck of the house, and I had hope that it would loosen up some of the chi. Well, be careful what you ask for......

Now this house, this house was another story altogether. So I'm not sure if it was the mirror, the house employing the mirror, or a coming together of unknown forces that caused the goings on after the acquisition of the mirror. But goings on we had aplenty.

An example - one day I was in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner. The mirror caught my eye, which it always seemed to do. I would glance at it and be caught within its glittering depths, unable to step back into this world, into my world, without a lurching tug. It usually took a sound, a motion to break the trance. This day, I glanced over and there I was. Seemed innocuous enough, except I was not in a position to have been reflected in the mirror. So why was I there? I stared at myself, into my own eyes. And then "I" turned around and walked down the hall, into the back of the house. "I" went into the back bedroom, the one we'd been having problems with since day one. The one with the gateways and the visitations, and the eyes,always the eyes looking out at one.

The "I" that was in the kitchen stared after this spectral entity, not realizing until moments later that this could not be! I shouldn't have even been able to see the doorway to that bedroom from the angle I was standing.

I was entranced
I was compelled to follow
I was sickened
This feeling of dis-ease is what eventually saved me from a fate I will never imagine, nor do I want to. I was forever after on guard against this mirror and its usurper, forever after glancing guilty but speedily to and from it, never letting my glance linger long.

The other occupants of the house did not witness these happenings as intensely and vividly as I did, but a pallor of uneasiness, dread if you will, lay over the hallways. Even the animals were wary of the mirror and its vistas.
And our lives went on........

Dancing the sky down….

Dancing the sky down….

Horseback riders trespassing. A blue stake into the heart of the oak - no resistance. Opening doors. The other reality - go through the door. Light shining up the natural steps. A clearing, a mound. Creatures dancing round and round. Pannish creatures with leaves for hair and large ears, playing flutes. Other doors opening, other creatures appearing… The celebration. We are still in deep shadow my friend and I. Can we go to the meadow?

The sky is bright but I can see the stars and moon. My friend doesn't want the eye in the sky to see him, so we sit and watch from the safety of the grove.

A man with bee eyes and antennas comes up to us and asks us to leave. If we don't go down to the meadow we must leave. I try to argue for my friend's sake, but the bee man is adamant. I get up to leave then turn back, angry. What are they doing? What is the purpose? Why is everyone down on the meadow?

They are waiting for the eye to open, is the answer. The eye in the sky is a reflection of the eye on the ground. When both eyes open and look at each other the sky will come down and we will BE.

What purpose is this?

My friend asks if we will hear the music. The bee man answers yes. My friend wants to stay. Well if we stay I answer, then we will damn sure dance!

We go down and dance around the mound. I'm dancing with the strangest creatures - animal, humanoid, insectal, myriad half-creatures. And a wee feminine feline-like creature. Where have I seen her before? She dances with wild abandon, enticing me to join. We are all entranced, our bodies moving of their own accord. Our consciousness lifted to the heavens. The ritual appears to be reaching a crescendo. Then the ground begins to shake. The eye within the mound is opening! As it opens a light shoots up and reflects off and around the one in the sky. The music…….. I look at my friend - this is where you heard it! The sky, the blue, begins to lower and it comes down to ground level - the utter blackness of space, aurora borealis, ethereal winds. We all collapse to the ground.

Images dance across the heavens - black men whose head ornaments reach the sky. A man with a head of feathers instead of human hair that reaches out two feet in all directions. Animals……more people……other-worldly creatures. The sounds they make, blending with the astral music. A primal story enfolds. We watch with rapt, uncomprehending attention. We LIVE the tale. It is in our cells, calling to us to remember. My friend is on the ground, memorizing, absorbing, being absorbed.

The sky rises again……..

sentimental carnage

Current mood:que sera sera 
I love my dogs, I really do.  But sometimes, sometimes it is driven home how close to the feral they are.  How much they are not really our 'pets' but just primitive creatures that share our space no matter how vicariously, and that any second they can revert back to their god-given state.  When they hit the darkness their eyes glow red and I have no control….it's like a film comes down over their souls, the humanity's touch is sloughed, the hunt is on.

These dogs, I love them, but ….A story

Last night after I had let them out for their bedtime jaunt, I got to sit and read the paper for a few minutes of quiet before the growling and screaming began.  Well, being the pack mama I am my first impression was that one of my 'babies' was in trouble.  I jumped up and ran for the door and the inky mid night shadows to rescue.  I get out on the back porch and see nothing, but the night air is filled with what?  Battle, horror, pain, commands…..

The storm is in the woods, right on the edge, right at the edge of the light thrown by the porch and service pole, the edge of tamed and insanity. There is a frenzy somewhere on the periphery and I am helpless.  So I run back into the house for my flood light and heavy walking staff.

The porch is encased by spider webs – it's weird these spiders.  They build their humongous webs each night (I've had one build a web as broad as my driveway and 12 feet high – driving through it was unreal) and then tear them down each morning just as the sun comes up, leaving no evidence of their existence.  But if you happen to venture out after dark……

Well, after clearing the webs to get off the porch, I aim the thick beam into the woods. All I see are reflections, glittering eyes which show no sentience, only the recoil of light and reason.  I start counting, one, two, three, one of the dogs, the puppy Ott comes darting out of the woods, then four……four?   Oh god, what do they have?  I see legs, bodies shifting and shielding……they know, they know I do not approve.
I yell at them to stop….this seems to be a cue to come into the light.  To allow me the pack leader to join in perhaps?  Or to show off, who the fuck knows.  Sometimes there is no explanation….no human explanation.  It can take many hours of reflection to plumb those murky depths that are the berserker's mind.

Something, a piece of fur, dark and shadowed, is being tossed about.  No wait that is wrong, there is never a time that it is not in the clutches of one of the dogs' jaws.  They are tugging vehemently from three different directions.  Like one of their pull toys.  Is it dead?  Oh please, let it be dead….

The staff comes down hard on the back of the alpha male – he releases.  The alpha wanna-be is next – god I hope I leave bruises.  I am so mad, or perhaps I have joined in the frenzy, the blood lust, and just need to administer pain.  At any rate, the staff comes down a third time…..

It is a raccoon, a youngster not even a year old, come to the bird feeders and watering stations in the cool of the night to browse.  It hits the ground and staggers – oh jeez.  I can't believe it's alive after all that!  It tries to get upright but is clearly in shock.  Wounds and fur torn, blood covering every surface, limbs obviously broken or torn out of socket.  It is like a marionette that has no master.  It tries again and again to rise and run….

In that moment the tableau halts to a grudging pause….I have a decision to make.

Do I grab the wounded animal to save it?  Oh you can be sure it will rip me a new one, out of pain, fear, and belief that I am part of the pack here to end its life.

And what is there to save really?  It's 1 am, no vet within 100 miles of me, especially not one versed in wild critters.  Maybe it would better to die in a flash than to suffer and linger for hours, maybe days.

….perhaps it would be merciful to let nature take its course.

I look the creature in the eye and ask forgiveness, but it already knows.  This is its world after all, it knows what is expected.

So I fade back into the light, the tide of teeth and raving flowing effortlessly back into the space I leave behind. 
….I ask the dogs to be quick about it