Thursday, June 30, 2016

Addendum...Ashes to Soot

I wrote a little ditty the other day. Sometimes I am so compelled to put finger to keyboard due to a rush of insight or a tidal wave of emotion. But this instance in question was as monumental as the proverbial flood....

I was in hospital running some tests. Had been there all the day long ~ gawd I hate those pastel walls and little arrows on the fukkin floor! But my stay was almost over after 9 grueling hours (or so I thought), and I was finally released~all the rubber straps removed~from that tortuous bed of lies. I was told to walk and almost ran I did ~ straight to the bathroom hehe.

However, as I approached the room way off in the corner of the ward I paused. For this bed....all this fragile corner of suffering....was a dear friend I thought healed and happy. She had been fighting that battle royal....the dread melanoma....and had gone through trials, sanctioned experiments in all seriousness, and the news had been good last I had heard. Yea, so I had heard....

Yet here she was, so lost and forlorn, ragged and beaten to the sheets. I called her name and it took an eternity for her to open those piercing blue eyes. Oh damn! Did I inadvertently call her back from the brink of that abyss she so obviously welcomed in relief? I expected to find pain in that visage but found acceptance instead. She spoke of her struggle, not with "why me's", but with "it was a good fight". Told me that it was almost over, about the new grandbaby-to-be she would never get to see in person (though I fully believe she has communed with in spirit).

My heart opened up and I gave her my all, anything she needed to ease her way, anything I could do....just anything. And then I began to bleed. It was like a stigmata. I felt no pain, no worry....fear was left far behind me. I held her hand and bled for her. For you see, she was there for a platelet transfusion.

By this time the nurses had hunted me down because I had been gone way too long. They asked me what I was doing and I said "administering to a friend". That’s when the blood was spotted and chaos ensued. Oh yes, I had bled for her indeed. My femoral artery had blown and I was seeping like a fountain. They dragged my out of her hands and all I remember from that point on was pounding fists and screams. After 3 more hours of bondage and cussing I sprang up from the bed~albeit in slow motion~and went looking for her to no avail. She was gone, the bed empty and tidied as if it hadn’t been used for days. What was even stranger was that no one remembered seeing her there....

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