Memories of Caya

We were giddy young fools, Jaes and I. We were intoxicated with our powers, wanting to experience everything our abilities had to offer. We weren't vain or egotistical, but more innocent, testing the limits of our curiousity.

I've slowly remembered this episode in my past lives. It's taken years of soul-remembering. I can remember the power - the shame - the anguish for what we did in our ignorance.

Giddy young fools............

Let me introduce myself - not the who I am now - but the who I was then - Caya. In this lifetime I've been somewhat of a recluse, shying away from people. This has always been due to my ultra-sensitivity. I've never been able to look into people's eyes - didn't want to know what I'd see there. I've always felt I was invading people's lives and minds. Also, I was afraid others could see the shame in mine.

But, some years ago I became open - the New Age movement had come to town. At the time it was a revelation. Remembrances were stirring and awakening like a sluggish, hibernating beast. Some were pleasant, even exhilarating. But then some had vague undertones of uneasiness attached to them, of the unleashing of things left alone.

I now thank the New Age movement for opening my soul-eyes, but I was becoming increasingly uneasy with its non-structure. Beliefs and practices were being borrowed from many paths, and were being melded or interpreted in a way that didn't lend structure or protection. I began to resist the gurus, to go my own journey. I know this was not the way to enlightenment, nor was it healthy. The old ways were sought.

But what were the old ways? And how did I know they existed? And even more disturbing - who could I find to teach me? I was not interested in the occult, that which had grown up around Christianity. Something more ancient, more basic was calling me.

About 2 years ago I made contact with someone on the astral. It was only in passing and information was exchanged. I thought it was a dream. But the next day this person visited my house. This was not a spirit or 'entity', but the astral body of a living person. I was terrified because I, in my short lifetime, don't ever recall experiencing an event such as this. The person who came to visit me was a consummate astral traveler, and I was in awe of his abilities. I've astral traveled before, but it was always sub-consciously done, through no effort on my part. I had no control.

Thus I met with Jaes again. He began to visit regularly, and take me on adventures. All the while he was telling me that I already knew all this, prompting, me to remember. We visited other dimensions, other planets. We went to the high meadow and danced the sky down with the other revelers, to hear the music of the universe.

Then, he slowly began urging me to remember our past lives together through dreams, trances and automatic writing. Our first life together was not many years after colonization, when he was a wormrider and I a guardian of the portals. Our next major life together was in pre-Atlantean times, about the time all the experimentation was beginning. Of our child born horribly deformed due to Jaes' experiments with energy. Of how we had to release it into the seas, for it could never live among our kind.

Of our past life in a pre-Bronze Age society, where I was a priestess of the temple, engaged to tutor the ruler's daughter, and Jaes was a courtesan bent on becoming her consort. I was required to train the princess in the arcane arts, and Jaes blackmailed me into teaching him the same knowledge, so he could be equal or superior to her when they wed. And of how the princess, who had been raised with absolute power of her subjects, who had no conscious or remorse about wielding that power, destroyed Jaes and I because of Jaes' brutality and hunger for power.

Many more lives were remembered - of drinking, carousing mercenaries, of being students of a great magician.

But the lifetime that is the crux of this story was about to enfold.