Saturday, February 20, 2010

To Fall: To be born: Two lambs have fallen today....

Today….was such a day let me tell you.  Do you ever wonder about timing and connections?  Circumstance and Karma?  Whether one can dodge that bullet meant for them, or someone/thing unconsciously, as on an esoteric level, agreeing to take it for you?
I've always thought my mother and I had a connection via our ethereal bodies.  My health so often mirrors hers, especially when it comes to life-altering and major issues.  Almost simultaneously, or at least within days or at the outside a few weeks, I will 'inherit', for lack of a better term. her dis-ease.  What is this connection?  Mother-daughter?  Past life debt?  Or just dumb luck?  And if not, then why doesn't this occur with my other siblings, or father for that matter?  Why just we two….
To Fall:  To descend:  To move downward in response to gravity.
So back to today, the alarm goes off at 3:30 AM just like it does the other five mind numbing days in my week.  I stumble out of the bedroom, pushing the screen door outward into the huddle of pups.  I keep this door closed at night because two of the dogs are always trying to get into bed with me, which is a major no-no.  So they get relegated to couch for the night.
Now little Ott, well not so little haha.  Now Ott here, he feels he has to grovel for either Tuuli or myself constantly, him being the lower doggie.  If one is not available then the other can share his perfect devotional obeisance with the other.  I am always hearing the Tuuli growling off in the corner, and sure enough there's Ott's orange tail wagging a rut in the carpet.
Well this morning I was first to hand, lucky me.  Like I said, I stumbled out of the bedroom, on my way through the kitchen to the back door to let the puppies out.  Then HUH?  Ott wraps his entire body around my leg, slides down to lay completely supine on my foot, the momentum of which causes me to stop at floor level but continue on at stratospheric full throttle.  When what would arise before my blurry eyes?  But the corner of the kitchen island, wood and splinters, glass and chrome.  I was able to stop myself by throwing out my arm with the bad shoulder, wrenching it ever so slightly out of socket…..but the mess, the blood and skin I envisioned on the way to that gory destination did not manifest….thank somebody.
I look down at this most miserable of supplicants with a withered eye.  Not awake enough to shout, I nevertheless rally enough to balance his entire 70 pounds of dead weight on said foot and hoisted him one foot up and two feet out….fear can manifest such lovely adrenaline….Bam.
I take some live-saving ibuprofen (I buy the economy sized bottle haha) and head off to work.
To Fall:  To Topple:  To come to the ground suddenly and involuntarily.
My morning routine when I first arrive at the slave farm is to power up the equipment, unload all my daily supplies, then head off with coffee in hand to the patio for the early morning smoker's chatfest.  I used to puff away with these folk, not being able to go long without my nicotine.  And yes, I have quit for good, no worries there.  But these are friends, and since the urge is no longer present the communion will continue, 5:45 AM sharp.
The night crew has cleaned the patio this night, as they are want to do quarterly.  Hosed it down from the roof of the second story to the very slats in the drains embedded in the cement.  Nothing misses this deluge.  The windows are streaked with muddy rivulets, the furniture left dripping.  I'm disgusted and head off to the restroom to accumulate towelettes and plastic to sit on.  I walk thru the glass doors, turn left after crossing the large especially-for inclement-weather rug, and…..
I can't say I fell, that would be an inaccurate accounting.  It was more like a misplacement.  Normally you know when you are going to fall.  You do everything in your power to stop it, it's human nature.  In some cases it even appears that all things slow down to a second-by-millisecond crawl, and you seemingly have that extra few moments to look for any avenue to alleviate the rush of pavement, which of course you never find.  But no, this was ~one minute I'm walking~  to ~the next I'm looking up at all the dark glass glistening in the hallway, the parking lot high security beams bright and strident through the grey streaks.
And not a soul witnessed my downfall.  This is so incredulous when you consider that I work in a huge facility with at any one time an excess of 4,000 people.  This place humms 24/7.  And this took place in one of the busiest intersections in the building complex, one of THE busiest….so where was my choir?
I took stock of all my body parts, no broken bones or skin thank you thank you.  Slipped and slid my way over to the door jam and carefully crawled over to the rug to gain traction.  All things considered I have faired very well.  My first thought after regaining mobility was "Damn, I guess I was SUPPOSED to fall today!"
To Fall:  To come by lot or chance.
9:30 AM I get a call.  Oh god I dread these calls…my Mother…..damn she can scare the bejesus out of me sometimes….headfirst into a brick wall.  Tripped over one of those parking lot curbs.  Broken nose.  She is so fucking lucky the bone didn't come through it was that severe.  Broken kneecap.  Sprained wrist.  She looked like a truck had hit her then backed up and did it again.  And all I could say was something to the effect of
"To Fall:  To be directed, as light, sight, etc., on something"
The circumstances of all three… SO similar.  To be played out regardless of our efforts.  Was the attack intended for me and I diverted it?  Or did she call it to her stead?  For I fully believe it was a psychic attack.  To have all three be directed to our foundations?  Oh yes, a most determined assault.  Or was it to our family?  The matriarch and heir?  A perverted request for silence?  Oh you can be assured the shields went up round me and mine this day….

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